DEAR ABBY: I'm a 28-year-old mother of two. My teenaged adopted sister steals makeup from stores. It sometimes happens when we are together, but I never catch her doing it. She has told me she feels no remorse about stealing the items.

My parents and I have lectured her time after time. She's now claiming her friends give her makeup they don't like. I'm exasperated because she just doesn't seem to get it. Would it be wrong of me to tip off the security guard on our next shopping trip? I want her to learn a lesson before it's too late. Yet, it could result in juvenile detention and a financial burden on my parents.

I love my sister, but I'm worried her habit may lead to an unfortunate adulthood. She has had counseling in the past for numerous issues, but she either lies to her therapist or just sits quietly and says nothing. Please help me, Abby. -- STICKY FINGERS

DEAR STICKY FINGERS: If you do what you are contemplating and your sister finds out you were the person who turned her in, she will never forgive you for it. I agree that the girl has serious problems. That's why I'm advising you to tell your parents what has been going on and let them handle it. While my inclination would be to give her a dose of tough love, it would be better if it comes from your parents, because they are responsible for her.

DEAR ABBY: My mother passed away a couple of years ago. She had a very nice man, Ron, as a partner for several years before her death. Since Mom's funeral, I have done my best to spend time with him and check in to see how he is. Unfortunately, he has a habit of stopping by my home unannounced -- usually on Sunday evenings. I know he's lonely, and I feel terrible asking this. How can I tell him in a nice way that my husband and I don't like surprise visits when we're getting ready for the workweek ahead or relaxing by the pool? I'm starting to resent having to be presentable for a drop-by visit when all I want is to unwind at the end of a weekend. -- CRAVING SUNDAY SOLITUDE

DEAR CRAVING: You should have drawn the line within a few months after your mother's passing. The way to handle this would be to say to him the next time he shows up unannounced, Ron, we already have plans for tonight. (Pause.) You know we care about you, but in the future, please call before dropping by because we sometimes need to relax and prepare for the workweek ahead.