<쪽속>(17회), 2020년 2월 22일(토)
1교시/ 3시~4시/ 영어강독/ <On the Move>(Oliver Sacks)
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길속글속(157회)/ 2024년 2월 3일(토)
Abigail Van Buren on Feb 12, 2020
DEAR ABBY: I've got a new one for you. My beautiful 16-year-old daughter was interested in a boy her age from school. He was interested in her, too. He told her he wanted to date her, but that he is polyamorous and would be dating many girls simultaneously. She told him he's too young to know what he is yet, and he was just using it as an excuse to date multiple girls, and she wasn't interested.
They are part of the same friend group. He has been acting very hurt, pouty and angry. He told a mutual friend he is deeply hurt he came out to my daughter and that she won't accept him as he is. I'm worried this will escalate, and he will claim that she shamed him for this.
Abby, I am all about supporting how people self-identify, but this is absolutely ridiculous. What are your thoughts? Is this the new normal? If you refuse to date a boy who dates a ton of other girls simultaneously, does that make you guilty of shaming? Personally, I think it's hilarious that this is the new excuse to be promiscuous and so does she, but I won't be laughing if we get called into the principal's office. -- NOT FUNNY IN COLORADO
DEAR NOT FUNNY: That boy is sulking because his pitch didn't sell. Polyamory is the practice of openly engaging in multiple intimate relationships with the consent of ALL the people involved. What that boy may have meant was he enjoys playing the field. Your daughter didn't discriminate; she showed good common sense. If the principal hears about it, the administrator not only won't call your daughter into the office, I'm pretty sure the person will get a chuckle out of this.
DEAR ABBY: My wife and I have been married for 45 years. When she moved out of our bedroom, I was shocked. I thought she didn't love me anymore. Then I realized that both our sleeping habits have changed over the years.
She snores, and I toss and turn. She needs the room dark, while I like a night light so I can see while I walk to the bathroom. I wasn't around when my parents got old, so I didn't realize our sleeping arrangement was going to change. We still love each other, but just sleep in different rooms. Is this normal? -- WONDERING IN CALIFORNIA
DEAR WONDERING: The reason for the change is what's important. In your case, it's not because of discord or lack of love. While I would have suggested your wife try various kinds of sleep masks to block out your night light, your new arrangement is not an indication that there is trouble in your relationship. Many couples do this. So stop worrying about whether this is normal and be glad you have a solution that works.
DEAR ABBY: My brother and sister-in-law own a golden retriever. Cookie is their baby. The problem is, I live in a place where I can't have pets, plus I don't have a car. I'm disabled, so it's harder for me to get around.
I would love for my brother and sister-in-law to visit me for a couple of days. We live 2 1/2 hours apart. Well, my brother won't come and stay with me at all. He does visit, but only for about an hour or so because they refuse to put Cookie in a kennel.
What should I say to him without causing him to get mad at me? I feel he's putting that dog first, before his own sister. I miss seeing him and his wife. -- DOGGONE IT IN MICHIGAN
DEAR DOGGONE IT: Your brother and sister-in-law's goldie is also a member of their family. Demanding they put Cookie in a kennel is tantamount to telling them they must put their child in foster care for the duration of their visit with you.
If your brother is willing to drive 2 1/2 hours (each way) to visit with you for a few hours, he is showing his love for you. Can you suggest he arrange for a neighbor to look after Cookie for two days? If not, in the interest of family harmony, stop complaining.
DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have a friend, George, who rents our upstairs. Our home is large, and the second floor has all the amenities of a 2,500-square-foot house. He has his separate entrance and never has to come through our living space.
In the beginning, I agreed to the arrangement because he was going through a divorce and needed a place to live. Now, for the past several months, his ex has been spending nights upstairs. We just celebrated the holidays, and his family was here together.
I'm feeling very confused and uncomfortable having them both up there. Now that George seems to have worked through his marital problems, I feel it's time he moves out. My husband doesn't understand why I feel this way and can't understand why I want my house back! Please give me some insight on how to handle this. Or am I overreacting? Please tell me I'm not being selfish. -- BEING USED IN THE SOUTH
DEAR BEING USED: You are not selfish, and you're not overreacting. Refresh your husband's memory about how the arrangement began. It was a safe refuge for a friend going through a traumatic life change. Those circumstances no longer apply, and if you are not comfortable with George entertaining his ex under your roof, it is understandable. Communal living is not for everyone.