DEAR ABBY: My girlfriend and I call each other horrible, disparaging names as a form of love. Recently, I asked her to stop calling me names like that because it was fun at first, but now not so much. For me, it was just too negative.

I love her, and I want to show it by my actions. I want us to be a positive couple. I now call her Bebe. Well, she got mad and accused me of not letting her be herself. Am I wrong for asking her not to call me ugly, gender-based names? I know she loves me, and I just want her to tone down the name-calling. Is that too much to ask? -- NO DUMB-A** IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR NO D-A: No, it is not too much to ask. Jokes can get old and stale, and the name-calling stopped being cute or fun for you a while ago. People who love each other are sensitive to the other person's feelings and don't do what your girlfriend is doing. If she persists, it may be time to step back and reevaluate this relationship because her just being herself will become a turnoff.

DEAR ABBY: My husband of 34 years has really bad table manners. He smacks when he chews, makes gulping noises when he drinks liquids and stuffs huge amounts of food in his mouth. He once swallowed a whole hard-boiled egg all at once and almost choked. It's gross.

I love him, but his lack of manners is embarrassing, especially when we are invited out or are over at a friend's house. What can I do? -- ROLLING MY EYES IN TENNESSEE

DEAR ROLLING: Have you talked to him about this? If you have, sometimes a picture is worth a thousand words. Hand him a mirror or record a video of him eating so he can see for himself how unappealing he looks when he does this. If that doesn't persuade him to slow down and take smaller bites, consider putting less food on his plate before serving it. I can't guarantee this will work, but it's worth a try.